








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 793 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5501 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4498 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3290 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4198 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,076,280 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b' | 19 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | majin_bukkake | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ShatteredQuark | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Jadsta | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | titter | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b' | 802 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | titter | 272 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | mungeR | 267 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | ShatteredQuark | 224 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Haru | 181 | 0.24 | 5 min |





