








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 633 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3122 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4243 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3181 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2247 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,880,086 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 650 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ziinzo | 61% | 83 |
| #2 | Primus | 59% | 128 |
| #3 | Largemouth Bass | 53% | 235 |
| #4 | 𝙏𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖. | 51% | 344 |
| #5 | ->Insomnia<- | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Primus | 59% | 128 |
| #3 | Largemouth Bass | 53% | 235 |
| #4 | 𝙏𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖. | 51% | 344 |
| #5 | ->Insomnia<- | 47% | 87 |
| #6 | Dawn | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Largemouth Bass | 21 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | 𝙏𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖. | 17 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Primus | 15 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | ->Insomnia<- | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Ziinzo | 5 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙏𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖. | 1124 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #2 | Largemouth Bass | 260 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dawn | 89 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Primus | 64 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | ->Insomnia<- | 36 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kardz | +1.56 | 64 | 50 |
| #2 | Largemouth Bass | +0.79 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | 𝙏𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖. | +0.31 | 49 | 66 |
| #4 | Ziinzo | +0.02 | 65 | 42 |
| #5 | Primus | -1.51 | 46 | 35 |





