








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 241 | 5% |
| Smokes | 2150 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 1425 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 760 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $838,347 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Largemouth Bass | 54% | 143 |
| #2 | Primus | 48% | 56 |
| #3 | 𝙏𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖. | 48% | 214 |
| #4 | Kardz | 47% | 87 |
| #5 | Ziinzo | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Primus | 48% | 56 |
| #3 | 𝙏𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖. | 48% | 214 |
| #4 | Kardz | 47% | 87 |
| #5 | Ziinzo | 47% | 45 |
| #6 | Dawn | 46% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙏𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖. | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Largemouth Bass | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Dawn | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Primus | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Kardz | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙏𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖. | 1023 | 0.23 | 27 min |
| #2 | Kardz | 298 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dawn | 175 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Largemouth Bass | 148 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Primus | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kardz | +2.50 | 66 | 47 |
| #2 | Largemouth Bass | +1.21 | 69 | 42 |
| #3 | 𝙏𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖. | +0.77 | 45 | 67 |
| #4 | Ziinzo | -0.30 | 51 | 34 |
| #5 | Dawn | -1.29 | 63 | 45 |





