








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,032 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 833 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2175 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1412 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2612 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,308 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petit Poussin Blanc | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | PercevalZ | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | sust4iN | 59% | 83 |
| #4 | Machinegun Negev&Autonoob Master | 57% | 91 |
| #5 | Poisson*Clown | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Machinegun Negev&Autonoob Master | 57% | 91 |
| #5 | Poisson*Clown | 57% | 37 |
| #6 | Jon | 53% | 19 |
| #7 | 🇫🇷 ThibSan3 🇫🇷 | 52% | 33 |
| #8 | Le__mad | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sust4iN | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Machinegun Negev&Autonoob Master | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Poisson*Clown | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | 🇫🇷 ThibSan3 🇫🇷 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sust4iN | 201 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Poisson*Clown | 94 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | 🇫🇷 ThibSan3 🇫🇷 | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Le__mad | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | PercevalZ | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petit Poussin Blanc | +5.70 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | sust4iN | +1.11 | 30 | 52 |
| #3 | pj | +1.01 | 54 | 52 |
| #4 | Machinegun Negev&Autonoob Master | -0.22 | 12 | 17 |
| #5 | Le__mad | -0.47 | 55 | 58 |





