








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2724 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4932 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4400 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3100 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,006 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sust4iN | 60% | 124 |
| #2 | Machinegun Negev&Autonoob Master | 60% | 130 |
| #3 | Ameo | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Rubeus Hagrid | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | Le__mad | 54% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Rubeus Hagrid | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | Le__mad | 54% | 59 |
| #6 | PercevalZ | 54% | 26 |
| #7 | pj | 52% | 33 |
| #8 | Poisson*Clown | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Machinegun Negev&Autonoob Master | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | sust4iN | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Le__mad | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | pj | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sust4iN | 286 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Le__mad | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Poisson*Clown | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | PercevalZ | 47 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | pj | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ameo | +2.34 | 39 | 55 |
| #2 | sust4iN | +1.36 | 29 | 54 |
| #3 | pj | +0.53 | 46 | 45 |
| #4 | Machinegun Negev&Autonoob Master | +0.16 | 13 | 18 |
| #5 | Le__mad | -0.11 | 71 | 49 |





