








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1175 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1226 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1271 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 702 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,116 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C8berslayer | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | Squeezy | 63% | 46 |
| #3 | rob | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | k3yto. | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | moehk | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | moehk | 55% | 22 |
| #6 | Pip | 53% | 70 |
| #7 | Seolhyun <3 | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Spina | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | DeltaWolf | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pip | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Squeezy | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | C8berslayer | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | rob | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | moehk | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pip | 180 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Squeezy | 173 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | rob | 67 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | moehk | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | C8berslayer | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 李大為 | +2.28 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | Squeezy | +2.19 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | k3yto. | +2.09 | 87 | 72 |
| #4 | Spina | +1.13 | 63 | 57 |
| #5 | C8berslayer | +1.07 | 68 | 34 |





