








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 560 | 35% |
| Smokes | 432 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 309 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 277 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $128,708 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ApOcAlYpSe_O | 65% | 17 |
| #6 | TeeCrew | 54% | 13 |
| #7 | ABDULAH PEEK عبدالله الرشيد | 47% | 32 |
| #8 | ltsme | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Dr Lohras | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DLN-SM TOCARD | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | ABDULAH PEEK عبدالله الرشيد | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Zeratiks | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | ApOcAlYpSe_O | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Dr Lohras | 1 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ABDULAH PEEK عبدالله الرشيد | 218 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #2 | DLN-SM TOCARD | 103 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | ApOcAlYpSe_O | 61 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Zeratiks | 55 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | TeeCrew | 24 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _mass chique la boke | +3.43 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | Dr Lohras | +1.92 | 83 | 77 |
| #3 | ApOcAlYpSe_O | +1.86 | 93 | 52 |
| #4 | Zeratiks | +1.28 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | DLN-SM TOCARD | +1.13 | 70 | 73 |





