








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1062 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 677 | 20% |
| Smokes | 936 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 880 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 946 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $251,309 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neverm1nD | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | THEFUNKI_ | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | DLN-SM TOCARD | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | Dr Lohras | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | ApOcAlYpSe_O | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DLN-SM TOCARD | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | Dr Lohras | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | ApOcAlYpSe_O | 53% | 40 |
| #6 | TeeCrew | 52% | 21 |
| #7 | ABDULAH PEEK عبدالله الرشيد | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr Lohras | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | DLN-SM TOCARD | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ApOcAlYpSe_O | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ABDULAH PEEK عبدالله الرشيد | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | THEFUNKI_ | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DLN-SM TOCARD | 278 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Dr Lohras | 215 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #3 | ABDULAH PEEK عبدالله الرشيد | 133 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | ApOcAlYpSe_O | 96 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | THEFUNKI_ | 82 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neverm1nD | +2.65 | 61 | 58 |
| #2 | DLN-SM TOCARD | +1.73 | 75 | 74 |
| #3 | ApOcAlYpSe_O | +1.32 | 93 | 52 |
| #4 | Zeratiks | +0.84 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | Dr Lohras | +0.31 | 87 | 75 |





