








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1494 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1005 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1151 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 601 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1091 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $169,254 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MysticalWitch 💙 | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | zozzy | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | PsychoCobbler | 61% | 28 |
| #4 | Lana Del Rey | 60% | 48 |
| #5 | SandZ | 60% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zozzy | 167 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lana Del Rey | 103 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | SandZ | 79 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | PsychoCobbler | 47 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | m0NESY | 46 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Absolute Cinema | +4.44 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | m0NESY | +3.38 | 63 | 50 |
| #3 | zozzy | +1.32 | 57 | 64 |
| #4 | 尼gger | +0.88 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | MFIP | +0.06 | 81 | 11 |





