








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4101 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 686 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1412 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,398,213 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SandZ | 49% | 356 |
| #6 | aLbert | 46% | 94 |
| #7 | MysticalWitch 💙 | 45% | 33 |
| #8 | Lana Del Rey | 44% | 107 |
| #9 | 尼gger | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zozzy | 29 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | SandZ | 24 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Lana Del Rey | 18 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | aLbert | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | 尼gger | 9 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aLbert | +4.53 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | Absolute Cinema | +3.96 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | zozzy | +1.82 | 58 | 67 |
| #4 | 尼gger | +0.71 | 43 | 50 |
| #5 | SandZ | -0.07 | 52 | 50 |





