








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3775 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3381 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2438 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3827 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,350,832 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psychopomp | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | LifesizePenguin | 62% | 120 |
| #3 | uBUYPOWER | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | American Steve | 59% | 78 |
| #5 | Samboucaaa | 58% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Samboucaaa | 58% | 60 |
| #6 | Olicsa | 54% | 24 |
| #7 | CHRISTINAFKNBMWFRK | 54% | 24 |
| #8 | RAT | 51% | 109 |
| #9 | Caitlyn Kiramman | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAT | 23 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | American Steve | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Olicsa | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | LifesizePenguin | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Samboucaaa | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LifesizePenguin | 698 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #2 | RAT | 627 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #3 | Samboucaaa | 208 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | American Steve | 153 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Olicsa | 101 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Olicsa | +7.26 | 96 | 62 |
| #2 | Psychopomp | +2.96 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | RAT | +2.77 | 80 | 67 |
| #4 | SharkFly | +0.76 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | LifesizePenguin | +0.11 | 60 | 63 |





