








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 174 matches | ||
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3860 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4311 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2766 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3892 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,491,763 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fidel Cashflow | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | Mike | 48% | 166 |
| #3 | andres | 47% | 98 |
| #4 | Exoskeletal | 46% | 90 |
| #5 | Cluuless | 44% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mike | 48% | 166 |
| #3 | andres | 47% | 98 |
| #4 | Exoskeletal | 46% | 90 |
| #5 | Cluuless | 44% | 87 |
| #6 | STEEEEELE | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | andres | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Exoskeletal | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | STEEEEELE | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Fidel Cashflow | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 473 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | andres | 308 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Cluuless | 282 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Exoskeletal | 279 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | STEEEEELE | 146 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tugglebub | +0.68 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | andres | +0.20 | 69 | 60 |
| #3 | Exoskeletal | +0.05 | 70 | 70 |
| #4 | Mike | -0.35 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | Cluuless | -0.55 | 64 | 65 |





