








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
997 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 39% |
| Smokes | 263 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 251 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 55 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,836 of utility $38 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatherfritos | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Kurt_ | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | RaK TyT | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | You | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | FinnQwert | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | BeastRaze | 43% | 46 |
| #11 | Flingle | 43% | 7 |
| #12 | FinnPeko | 36% | 11 |
| #13 | mette | 36% | 22 |
| #14 | mr.cooldude80 | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FinnQwert | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | BeastRaze | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Hentai! • Gabe Newell | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ATEX | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Noku | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hentai! • Gabe Newell | 212 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | Kurt_ | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | FinnQwert | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | You | 32 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | RaK TyT | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | You | +8.70 | 85 | 53 |
| #2 | FinnPeko | +6.50 | 79 | 25 |
| #3 | FinnQwert | +3.99 | 69 | 37 |
| #4 | ATEX | +1.81 | 41 | 26 |
| #5 | Flingle | +1.48 | 40 | 34 |





