








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 390 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6798 | 32% |
| Smokes | 6710 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2628 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 5178 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,789 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 959 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Hammerbros2315 | 45% | 42 |
| #9 | mr.cooldude80 | 43% | 159 |
| #10 | Aki | 40% | 101 |
| #11 | mette | 38% | 101 |
| #12 | Joe | 27% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeastRaze | 15 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | mette | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | mr.cooldude80 | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | FinnQwert | 9 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | Aki | 4 | 0.0021 |





