








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 671 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 424 matches | ||
| Faceit | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




156 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3755 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6489 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3423 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5179 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,351,150 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8062 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuna | 68% | 111 |
| #2 | DLA | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | LOCKEDIN | 60% | 78 |
| #4 | DDub | 57% | 86 |
| #5 | Fuchsie | 56% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DLA | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | LOCKEDIN | 60% | 78 |
| #4 | DDub | 57% | 86 |
| #5 | Fuchsie | 56% | 87 |
| #6 | On Top of The World | 55% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuna | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Fuchsie | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | LOCKEDIN | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | DDub | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | On Top of The World | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuchsie | 440 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | On Top of The World | 348 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Tuna | 288 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | DLA | 183 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | DDub | 146 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drunk bee | +1.67 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | DLA | +1.28 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | On Top of The World | +1.06 | 78 | 72 |
| #4 | Tuna | +0.78 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | DDub | -0.03 | 83 | 54 |





