








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5742 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5413 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4960 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5038 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,427 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drunk bee | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | CdM | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | Fre4k | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | BinLaden | 57% | 58 |
| #5 | =!+"red*#%- | 51% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CdM | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Fre4k | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | drunk bee | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | dentron | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | =!+"red*#%- | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jot | 331 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | =!+"red*#%- | 298 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | CdM | 292 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | BinLaden | 197 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Fre4k | 166 | 0.19 | 5 min |





