








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 965 | 23% |
| Smokes | 738 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1177 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1247 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,374 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Despair | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | ★HittuLegend | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | ChrisChin | 57% | 106 |
| #4 | hockeynoodles | 56% | 82 |
| #5 | hyza LEONHART | 56% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hockeynoodles | 18 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | hyza LEONHART | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | ChrisChin | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | MVP Mailman | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | ★HittuLegend | 3 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hockeynoodles | 284 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | hyza LEONHART | 269 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | ChrisChin | 201 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | MVP Mailman | 149 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | -JustJamba | 75 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★HittuLegend | +8.16 | 93 | 31 |
| #2 | hyza LEONHART | +4.17 | 91 | 69 |
| #3 | ChrisChin | +2.68 | 96 | 55 |
| #4 | -JustJamba | +2.22 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | MVP Mailman | +1.78 | 79 | 48 |





