








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6494 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5744 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5975 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5088 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,400 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arraka | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Unsympathischer DΓΆnerverkΓ€ufer | 58% | 71 |
| #3 | ACID^ | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | HaiX47 | 52% | 65 |
| #5 | St34thdr1v3R | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduard Laser | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Manina_Enny | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Defusion | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Unsympathischer DΓΆnerverkΓ€ufer | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | St34thdr1v3R | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduard Laser | 1149 | 0.17 | 40 min |
| #2 | Defusion | 759 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #3 | β
ππ ππππ π | 381 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | FlinkesWiesel | 380 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | Manina_Enny | 313 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arraka | +6.94 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Eduard Laser | +5.19 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | In_Rage | +2.27 | 86 | 68 |
| #4 | β
ππ ππππ π | +1.70 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | HaiX47 | +0.19 | 59 | 62 |





