








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 721 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 448 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 132 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5173 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5577 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5541 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4422 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,964,387 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vest | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | iPoiison | 54% | 116 |
| #3 | C0NCEPT | 54% | 89 |
| #4 | sammosa | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | ellis | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sammosa | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | ellis | 53% | 38 |
| #6 | sherbussy. | 51% | 315 |
| #7 | Insane | 48% | 174 |
| #8 | JPEGMONKEY | 46% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sherbussy. | 38 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | JPEGMONKEY | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Insane | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | C0NCEPT | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | sammosa | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sherbussy. | 786 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | JPEGMONKEY | 233 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | C0NCEPT | 222 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | iPoiison | 217 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | ellis | 96 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0NCEPT | +1.50 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | Kenobi | +1.47 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | sherbussy. | +0.26 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | Insane | +0.05 | 65 | 46 |
| #5 | Vest | -0.01 | 66 | 55 |





