








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 927 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 412 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5572 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5376 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3664 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3879 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3533 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,605,328 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 852 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iPoiison | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | Kenobi | 51% | 315 |
| #3 | Insane | 49% | 71 |
| #4 | C0NCEPT | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | JPEGMONKEY | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iPoiison | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | Kenobi | 51% | 315 |
| #3 | Insane | 49% | 71 |
| #4 | C0NCEPT | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | JPEGMONKEY | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | 14 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | JPEGMONKEY | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | C0NCEPT | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Insane | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | iPoiison | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | 877 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #2 | iPoiison | 135 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | C0NCEPT | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | JPEGMONKEY | 66 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Insane | 25 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0NCEPT | +1.85 | 66 | 68 |
| #2 | Kenobi | +1.65 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | sherbussy. | +0.63 | 83 | 60 |
| #4 | Insane | +0.16 | 64 | 51 |
| #5 | JPEGMONKEY | -0.43 | 65 | 60 |





