










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1246 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2295 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1321 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1729 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $710,384 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sherbussy. | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | Kenobi | 54% | 116 |
| #3 | JPEGMONKEY | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sherbussy. | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | Kenobi | 54% | 116 |
| #3 | JPEGMONKEY | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | sherbussy. | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | JPEGMONKEY | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | 348 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | sherbussy. | 163 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | JPEGMONKEY | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | +3.03 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | sherbussy. | +0.53 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | JPEGMONKEY | -0.29 | 72 | 55 |
| #4 | iPoiison | -0.80 | 73 | 60 |





