








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4041 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3247 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1914 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2827 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $539,466 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | BIG STEPPA | 78% | 27 |
| #3 | wilby_ | 63% | 90 |
| #4 | Rody | 62% | 69 |
| #5 | Hercules_ | 61% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | siv | 50% | 44 |
| #8 | edit | 33% | 24 |
| #9 | shabuki | 32% | 19 |
| #10 | Tibbs | 27% | 22 |
| #11 | shok | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wilby_ | 13 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Hercules_ | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | crazywombat11689 | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Rody | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | edit | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rody | 429 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #2 | wilby_ | 269 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hercules_ | 171 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | crazywombat11689 | 137 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | siv | 117 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hercules_ | +2.23 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | Cynx | +1.85 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | wilby_ | +1.78 | 88 | 54 |
| #4 | p | +1.05 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | BIG STEPPA | +0.74 | 90 | 72 |





