








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 233 | 35% |
| Smokes | 122 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 170 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 137 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,589 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Harge | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | VapO | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Page | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | White | 33% | 3 |
| #11 | koutsi | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sofail | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | pyöveli | 2 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | koutsi | 1 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | VapO | 1 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sofail | 51 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | koutsi | 29 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #3 | pyöveli | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | VapO | 13 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #5 | jääkuubik | 8 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pyöveli | +9.48 | 93 | 81 |
| #2 | Sofail | +3.72 | 88 | 82 |
| #3 | jääkuubik | +2.21 | 89 | 74 |
| #4 | koutsi | +2.11 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | Sep | +1.37 | 95 | 73 |





