








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 747 | 33% |
| Smokes | 462 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 544 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 499 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $108,965 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ ᠌ Maximus Prime | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | BrAiNZ | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Floz | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Heinekenbier1997 | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Boyd | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | peekske | 43% | 7 |
| #18 | PapaJonko | 42% | 12 |
| #19 | ✪ Bart | 33% | 3 |
| #20 | Twice | 33% | 3 |
| #21 | NW_ | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RQBassie | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | PoMo | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ᴹᴿ 𝕁𝔻 | 1 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ ᠌ Maximus Prime | 1 | 0.0133 |
| #5 | ✪ Bart | 1 | 0.0141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RQBassie | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | PoMo | 49 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | FabioCCC | 43 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sky | 29 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Le Nut | 25 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PoMo | +4.71 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | Sky | +4.07 | 95 | 48 |
| #3 | ✪ Bart | +3.87 | 63 | 74 |
| #4 | BANANAPEEK Jon | +3.81 | 90 | 37 |
| #5 | Floz | +3.24 | 90 | 69 |





