








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1110 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1242 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1200 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1373 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 835 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,118 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoos | 68% | 41 |
| #2 | WhiSz | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | j0naz | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | swag | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | MhNQQ | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoos | 68% | 41 |
| #2 | WhiSz | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | j0naz | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | swag | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | MhNQQ | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zoos | 6 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | MhNQQ | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MhNQQ | 35 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | j0naz | 32 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #3 | zoos | 31 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | swag | 18 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | WhiSz | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MhNQQ | +3.43 | 52 | 62 |
| #2 | j0naz | +1.80 | 54 | 88 |
| #3 | zoos | +1.27 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | swag | +1.08 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | whooop | +0.05 | 42 | 64 |





