








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 788 | 30% |
| Smokes | 646 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 457 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 772 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,536 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illusioN_ | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | jerryPLSKI | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | F 1 n | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | CEO of Bavaria | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Manu | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | praT_tippen ein | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | dANNNNi ❟❛❟ | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | _SynTaxX | 33% | 9 |
| #12 | Mech | 27% | 11 |
| #13 | Unch4In3d | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illusioN_ | +1.47 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | Anbux | +0.98 | 94 | 53 |
| #3 | xpH1L | +0.63 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | jerryPLSKI | -0.19 | 73 | 79 |
| #5 | praT_tippen ein | -0.20 | 97 | 37 |





