








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




148 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2977 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3349 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1789 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2501 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,116,376 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bajuszpofa | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | ✯𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑖𝑖シ | 62% | 34 |
| #3 | Olivia Rodrigo | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | Ascended | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | Goser | 55% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ascended | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | Goser | 55% | 38 |
| #6 | Balkan Alcoholic | 55% | 110 |
| #7 | Maurer | 53% | 59 |
| #8 | pluh. | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balkan Alcoholic | 36 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | Maurer | 26 | 0.0217 |
| #3 | Ascended | 12 | 0.0202 |
| #4 | ✯𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑖𝑖シ | 10 | 0.0140 |
| #5 | Goser | 9 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goser | 210 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #2 | Maurer | 133 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Balkan Alcoholic | 113 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | bajuszpofa | 72 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | pluh. | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -b0DEY | +5.70 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | ✯𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑖𝑖シ | +1.62 | 89 | 55 |
| #3 | Ascended | +1.48 | 84 | 29 |
| #4 | Balkan Alcoholic | +0.30 | 48 | 39 |
| #5 | bajuszpofa | -0.16 | 63 | 59 |





