








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Wingman | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




111 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7360 | 21% |
| Smokes | 9905 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7484 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 10338 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,596,670 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1959 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -b0DEY | 53% | 59 |
| #2 | ✯𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑖𝑖シ | 49% | 560 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -b0DEY | 53% | 59 |
| #2 | ✯𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑖𝑖シ | 49% | 560 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑖𝑖シ | 43 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | -b0DEY | 18 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑖𝑖シ | 327 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #2 | -b0DEY | 157 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -b0DEY | +2.30 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | Maurer | +0.63 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | ✯𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑖𝑖シ | +0.28 | 85 | 45 |





