








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1742 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2105 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1454 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2204 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,925 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Balkan Alcoholic | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | -b0DEY | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | 𝓑𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝓔𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓱♡ | 50% | 56 |
| #4 | Dancsó Péter | 46% | 84 |
| #5 | ☆ | 46% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ | 21 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Dancsó Péter | 20 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | 😊 | 19 | 0.0288 |
| #4 | -b0DEY | 18 | 0.0260 |
| #5 | kutyaszorito | 16 | 0.0163 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ | 432 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Dancsó Péter | 330 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | 😊 | 260 | 0.39 | 4 min |
| #4 | herobrine | 179 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | jesse csiterman | 142 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -b0DEY | +7.67 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | ☆ | +4.40 | 68 | 78 |
| #3 | Balkan Alcoholic | +4.39 | 68 | 47 |
| #4 | Hatoska | +2.34 | 44 | 47 |
| #5 | Dancsó Péter | -0.09 | 72 | 57 |





