








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 501 | 22% |
| Smokes | 778 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 474 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 544 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $488,784 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | daman | 36% | 14 |
| #11 | Pumpernikkeli | 36% | 14 |
| #12 | RaQu | 35% | 37 |
| #13 | juustohoyla | 20% | 10 |
| #14 | 0db | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaQu | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Jamesi | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Tonttu (new arms) | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Pumpernikkeli | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JZR | 126 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | RaQu | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jamesi | 56 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tonttu (new arms) | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | helaas pindakaas | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AERO | +4.75 | 72 | 80 |
| #2 | edurph | +3.67 | 53 | 62 |
| #3 | Minh | +3.33 | 91 | 45 |
| #4 | Tonttu (new arms) | +2.65 | 86 | 75 |
| #5 | juustohoyla | +1.90 | 70 | 70 |





