








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 942 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 78 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5441 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2009 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 6336 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4298 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,701,398 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2664 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Shady Bliss | 56% | 84 |
| #5 | Al_Capone | 55% | 40 |
| #6 | Jamesi | 55% | 207 |
| #7 | JZR | 51% | 223 |
| #8 | Sotius | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonttu (new arms) | 19 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Jamesi | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | JZR | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Shady Bliss | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Minh | 4 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JZR | 1116 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #2 | Tonttu (new arms) | 467 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Jamesi | 395 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | Shady Bliss | 128 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Minh | 108 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonttu (new arms) | +3.82 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | Al_Capone | +1.54 | 82 | 56 |
| #3 | Minh | +1.11 | 79 | 47 |
| #4 | helaas pindakaas | +1.08 | 57 | 57 |
| #5 | Sotius | +0.74 | 65 | 54 |





