










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 633 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3788 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4307 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5435 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2864 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3842 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,604,432 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | helaas pindakaas | 55% | 207 |
| #6 | Al_Capone | 54% | 56 |
| #7 | JZR | 50% | 261 |
| #8 | Shady Bliss | 48% | 110 |
| #9 | Phinx | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tonttu (new arms) | 29 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | JZR | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Minh | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Shady Bliss | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | helaas pindakaas | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JZR | 1363 | 0.25 | 36 min |
| #2 | Tonttu (new arms) | 675 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | helaas pindakaas | 585 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | Minh | 222 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Shady Bliss | 155 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phinx | +3.94 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | Tonttu (new arms) | +3.66 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | Al_Capone | +1.53 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | Minh | +0.67 | 77 | 48 |
| #5 | helaas pindakaas | +0.62 | 56 | 58 |





