








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,771 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2905 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2667 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3667 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2532 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $840,487 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamesi | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | JZR | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Minh | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Shady Bliss | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | helaas pindakaas | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JZR | 1237 | 0.26 | 32 min |
| #2 | helaas pindakaas | 545 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Jamesi | 519 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | Minh | 190 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Shady Bliss | 140 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phinx | +3.68 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | Tonttu (new arms) | +3.59 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | Al_Capone | +1.05 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | helaas pindakaas | +0.54 | 58 | 59 |
| #5 | Minh | +0.51 | 77 | 46 |





