








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4722 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3813 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2731 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3399 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $577,045 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 585 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda™ | 74% | 78 |
| #2 | yes | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | aegis ♿ | 66% | 95 |
| #4 | pepega | 66% | 111 |
| #5 | wiz | 66% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | xking | 64% | 33 |
| #7 | 『 Shiro』 | 61% | 23 |
| #8 | sharpshootr | 60% | 90 |
| #9 | KWXJ | 57% | 21 |
| #10 | NICKCAGE23 | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sharpshootr | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | pepega | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | wiz | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Panda™ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | aegis ♿ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wiz | 465 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Panda™ | 412 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #3 | aegis ♿ | 410 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | sharpshootr | 321 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | pepega | 264 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pepega | +2.58 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | wiz | +2.18 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | xking | +1.72 | 87 | 69 |
| #4 | Panda™ | +1.59 | 83 | 79 |
| #5 | aegis ♿ | +1.14 | 63 | 60 |





