








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1502 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1706 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1326 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1250 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,360 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goldman sachs intern | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | aegis ♿ | 77% | 44 |
| #3 | sharpshootr | 70% | 27 |
| #4 | Panda™ | 70% | 20 |
| #5 | wiz | 67% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | aegis ♿ | 77% | 44 |
| #3 | sharpshootr | 70% | 27 |
| #4 | Panda™ | 70% | 20 |
| #5 | wiz | 67% | 49 |
| #6 | barry | 66% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barry | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | wiz | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | aegis ♿ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barry | 432 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | aegis ♿ | 157 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | wiz | 134 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Panda™ | 100 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | sharpshootr | 83 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pepega | +3.51 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | goldman sachs intern | +1.61 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | aegis ♿ | +1.40 | 65 | 60 |
| #4 | wiz | +1.26 | 83 | 72 |
| #5 | barry | +0.94 | 83 | 72 |





