








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1417 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1129 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1904 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2360 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $992,162 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Newmarket | 56% | 114 |
| #7 | 『 Shiro』 | 55% | 85 |
| #8 | sharpshootr | 55% | 42 |
| #9 | Buh | 55% | 86 |
| #10 | barry | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Newmarket | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Buh | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | sharpshootr | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | 『 Shiro』 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | barry | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Newmarket | 556 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | 『 Shiro』 | 365 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | barry | 327 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #4 | Buh | 298 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | aegis ♿ | 186 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Newmarket | +3.91 | 83 | 65 |
| #2 | aegis ♿ | +3.35 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | wiz | +3.15 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | barry | +1.97 | 85 | 73 |
| #5 | Buh | +1.62 | 76 | 55 |





