








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2911 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1713 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2177 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1817 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,701 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caderade | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | LyrAmouteru | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | DaxShepard#1Fan | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | monkey | 49% | 260 |
| #5 | Chravis | 42% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monkey | 26 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Chravis | 17 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | TURBO | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Lightning Weener | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | LyrAmouteru | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monkey | +3.89 | 74 | 30 |
| #2 | Caderade | +0.75 | 53 | 56 |
| #3 | TheEntirePopulationOfBotswana | +0.31 | 61 | 55 |
| #4 | Chravis | -0.03 | 49 | 47 |
| #5 | DaxShepard#1Fan | -0.47 | 32 | 48 |





