










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 659 | 27% |
| Smokes | 655 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 629 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 517 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $757,216 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not goy | 48% | 141 |
| #2 | a.fish.soul | 47% | 107 |
| #3 | Żywiec Białe | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not goy | 48% | 141 |
| #2 | a.fish.soul | 47% | 107 |
| #3 | Żywiec Białe | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not goy | 38 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Żywiec Białe | 26 | 0.0425 |
| #3 | a.fish.soul | 12 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not goy | 489 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | a.fish.soul | 164 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Żywiec Białe | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Żywiec Białe | +3.65 | 60 | 41 |
| #2 | Brian Grippin | +0.29 | 30 | 31 |
| #3 | a.fish.soul | -1.38 | 25 | 42 |
| #4 | not goy | -1.67 | 40 | 28 |





