








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1321 | 28% |
| Smokes | 846 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1244 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1354 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,250,767 of utility $332 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brian Grippin | 47% | 107 |
| #2 | Żywiec Białe | 45% | 119 |
| #3 | not goy | 45% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brian Grippin | 47% | 107 |
| #2 | Żywiec Białe | 45% | 119 |
| #3 | not goy | 45% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not goy | 51 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Żywiec Białe | 47 | 0.0205 |
| #3 | Brian Grippin | 19 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not goy | 809 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | Brian Grippin | 210 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Żywiec Białe | 205 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Żywiec Białe | +4.31 | 74 | 39 |
| #2 | Brian Grippin | +1.11 | 29 | 27 |
| #3 | not goy | -0.29 | 44 | 27 |
| #4 | a.fish.soul | -1.14 | 28 | 42 |





