








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 570 | 18% |
| Smokes | 734 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1080 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 806 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,355 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VõsaVillem | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Who’s_Your_Papa | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | Tomk | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | Aavo | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Takken | 44% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Aavo | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Takken | 44% | 64 |
| #6 | Inspektor Kukeke | 43% | 37 |
| #7 | hartwall | 28% | 29 |
| #8 | KriStjaN | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Takken | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Inspektor Kukeke | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | hartwall | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Tomk | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | VõsaVillem | 1 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Takken | 247 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Inspektor Kukeke | 47 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tomk | 18 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Who’s_Your_Papa | 16 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | VõsaVillem | 15 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Takken | +2.42 | 44 | 68 |
| #2 | Tomk | +1.99 | 61 | 40 |
| #3 | Who’s_Your_Papa | +1.61 | 50 | 69 |
| #4 | VõsaVillem | +1.21 | 46 | 44 |
| #5 | Aavo | -0.36 | 53 | 33 |





