








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 443 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1646 | 11% |
| Smokes | 5065 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3789 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3832 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $657,848 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VõsaVillem | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Peeter olen | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | Takken | 50% | 324 |
| #4 | Aavo | 49% | 263 |
| #5 | nfnz | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Inspektor Kukeke | 48% | 227 |
| #7 | Sweglord Intellektus | 40% | 80 |
| #8 | hartwall | 39% | 51 |
| #9 | hypiknukk | 37% | 79 |
| #10 | Seri0us_ | 26% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Takken | 28 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Inspektor Kukeke | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Sweglord Intellektus | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Aavo | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | nfnz | 5 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Takken | 1308 | 0.19 | 33 min |
| #2 | hypiknukk | 296 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Inspektor Kukeke | 216 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | Aavo | 139 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sweglord Intellektus | 112 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nfnz | +3.96 | 66 | 53 |
| #2 | Tomk | +1.21 | 62 | 42 |
| #3 | Takken | +0.97 | 52 | 68 |
| #4 | hypiknukk | +0.26 | 70 | 52 |
| #5 | Aavo | -0.21 | 59 | 42 |





