








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 85 | 3% |
| Smokes | 812 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1224 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 903 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,002 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aavo | 44% | 34 |
| #2 | Takken | 39% | 112 |
| #3 | Tomk | 39% | 51 |
| #4 | Inspektor Kukeke | 32% | 77 |
| #5 | Peeter olen | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Takken | 39% | 112 |
| #3 | Tomk | 39% | 51 |
| #4 | Inspektor Kukeke | 32% | 77 |
| #5 | Peeter olen | 28% | 29 |
| #6 | KriStjaN | 25% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KriStjaN | 15 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | Takken | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Inspektor Kukeke | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Tomk | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Peeter olen | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Takken | 361 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Inspektor Kukeke | 62 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Peeter olen | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Tomk | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | KriStjaN | 34 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Takken | +2.13 | 50 | 68 |
| #2 | Tomk | +1.94 | 63 | 43 |
| #3 | Aavo | +1.13 | 54 | 37 |
| #4 | Peeter olen | -1.64 | 18 | 57 |
| #5 | hartwall | -2.64 | 23 | 20 |





