








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 766 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 959 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3405 | 11% |
| Smokes | 10945 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 10439 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 6933 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $615,826 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aavo | 48% | 236 |
| #2 | Takken | 48% | 419 |
| #3 | Tomk | 48% | 227 |
| #4 | hartwall | 32% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aavo | 48% | 236 |
| #2 | Takken | 48% | 419 |
| #3 | Tomk | 48% | 227 |
| #4 | hartwall | 32% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Takken | 46 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Tomk | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | hartwall | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Aavo | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Takken | 1846 | 0.21 | 46 min |
| #2 | Tomk | 135 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #3 | Aavo | 92 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | hartwall | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomk | +2.30 | 64 | 40 |
| #2 | Takken | +1.83 | 52 | 68 |
| #3 | Aavo | +0.81 | 59 | 47 |
| #4 | Inspektor Kukeke | -1.45 | 22 | 54 |
| #5 | hartwall | -2.80 | 21 | 21 |





