








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6179 | 47% |
| Smokes | 3467 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2985 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 645 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $268,077 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheikward | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | 91 Unleaded | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Chong Pork | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | panam | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | lenny | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheikward | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | 91 Unleaded | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Chong Pork | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | panam | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | lenny | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panam | 11 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | 91 Unleaded | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Sheikward | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | lenny | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | panam | 277 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | Sheikward | 176 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #3 | lenny | 122 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | Chong Pork | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | 91 Unleaded | 9 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheikward | +3.33 | 68 | 69 |
| #2 | supa sayajin | +0.88 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | lenny | +0.38 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | 91 Unleaded | +0.02 | 80 | 40 |
| #5 | panam | -1.21 | 55 | 71 |





