








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6675 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2185 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 4271 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3033 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $638,244 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | auqx | 54% | 103 |
| #2 | Sheikward | 49% | 81 |
| #3 | lenny | 49% | 214 |
| #4 | supa sayajin | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | 91 Unleaded | 45% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sheikward | 49% | 81 |
| #3 | lenny | 49% | 214 |
| #4 | supa sayajin | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | 91 Unleaded | 45% | 58 |
| #6 | Chong Pork | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lenny | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | auqx | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Sheikward | 10 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | supa sayajin | 10 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | 91 Unleaded | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lenny | 1106 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #2 | supa sayajin | 460 | 0.33 | 10 min |
| #3 | auqx | 413 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #4 | Sheikward | 315 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | 91 Unleaded | 27 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheikward | +3.09 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | lenny | +1.27 | 66 | 63 |
| #3 | supa sayajin | +0.79 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | auqx | +0.57 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | panam | -0.70 | 61 | 71 |





