








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1433 | 31% |
| Smokes | 945 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 894 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1311 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,240 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyCumm | 69% | 45 |
| #2 | wa wa | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Marklieplier | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | pixie | 49% | 63 |
| #5 | chopp1es | 44% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | pixie | 49% | 63 |
| #5 | chopp1es | 44% | 66 |
| #6 | c1ymax | 44% | 117 |
| #7 | fab1edred | 43% | 68 |
| #8 | Wile E | 30% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pixie | 19 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | fab1edred | 14 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | c1ymax | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Wile E | 9 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | chopp1es | 8 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pixie | 378 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #2 | fab1edred | 375 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #3 | chopp1es | 361 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #4 | c1ymax | 308 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | KennyCumm | 151 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyCumm | +5.82 | 75 | 77 |
| #2 | pixie | +2.70 | 72 | 54 |
| #3 | fab1edred | +2.64 | 64 | 53 |
| #4 | c1ymax | +2.07 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | Marklieplier | +1.89 | 76 | 57 |





