








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3022 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2230 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1013 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2052 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $552,396 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marklieplier | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | diinch | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | KennyCumm | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | Noddy304 | 51% | 78 |
| #5 | c1ymax | 49% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | c1ymax | 49% | 160 |
| #6 | wa wa | 48% | 29 |
| #7 | chopp1es | 45% | 31 |
| #8 | Wile E | 43% | 35 |
| #9 | slvtfps | 43% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noddy304 | 23 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | slvtfps | 23 | 0.0180 |
| #3 | c1ymax | 18 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Wile E | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | chopp1es | 5 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c1ymax | 458 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | slvtfps | 331 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #3 | Noddy304 | 275 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | chopp1es | 177 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #5 | wa wa | 125 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyCumm | +4.42 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | Marklieplier | +3.55 | 68 | 64 |
| #3 | fab1edred | +2.62 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | c1ymax | +1.69 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | wa wa | -1.46 | 44 | 52 |





