








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4941 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4135 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3927 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2735 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3114 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,452,538 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1081 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wa wa | 59% | 51 |
| #2 | Marklieplier | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | KennyCumm | 52% | 103 |
| #4 | diinch | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | Noddy304 | 51% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | pixie | 46% | 123 |
| #8 | Linx | 45% | 38 |
| #9 | slvtfps | 44% | 117 |
| #10 | Wile E | 43% | 100 |
| #11 | chopp1es | 40% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fab1edred | 33 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | Noddy304 | 32 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | slvtfps | 31 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | pixie | 26 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | Wile E | 14 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fab1edred | 816 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #2 | Noddy304 | 649 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #3 | pixie | 607 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #4 | slvtfps | 533 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #5 | chopp1es | 509 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marklieplier | +5.30 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | KennyCumm | +3.86 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | fab1edred | +2.27 | 63 | 55 |
| #4 | c1ymax | +1.71 | 65 | 63 |
| #5 | pixie | +1.66 | 69 | 62 |





