








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 892 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2130 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2313 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1557 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2427 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $720,595 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slvtfps | 69% | 45 |
| #2 | chopp1es | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | wa wa | 60% | 92 |
| #4 | fab1edred | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | pixie | 59% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | fab1edred | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | pixie | 59% | 148 |
| #6 | c1ymax | 52% | 103 |
| #7 | Noddy304 | 48% | 61 |
| #8 | diinch | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pixie | 21 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | fab1edred | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | wa wa | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | slvtfps | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | c1ymax | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pixie | 842 | 0.28 | 20 min |
| #2 | wa wa | 410 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | c1ymax | 317 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Noddy304 | 216 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | fab1edred | 165 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyCumm | +3.90 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | fab1edred | +2.29 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | pixie | +1.80 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | c1ymax | +0.44 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | Noddy304 | -1.34 | 59 | 53 |





