










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 121 | 31% |
| Smokes | 78 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 94 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 102 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $103,444 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | homogeniseret æblejuice | 25 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | vincidor | 13 | 0.28 | 0 min |
| #3 | dea9s | 10 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | TheShadow | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Pollemiz | 4 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dea9s | +5.37 | 50 | 74 |
| #2 | homogeniseret æblejuice | +4.72 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | Niko. | +0.25 | 73 | 42 |
| #4 | vincidor | +0.13 | 89 | 56 |
| #5 | Pollemiz | -0.32 | 61 | 60 |





